与生活一起创作
———一部长篇小说的产生
Creating in Life
———The Creation of A Novel
二〇〇四年的冬天,我在鲁迅文学院的二一零宿舍里,写完了长篇小说《困豹》的最后一个字。那时候,我有一种奇怪的感觉,走起路来高一脚低一步的,总有一些飘,仿佛一个人长时间地跟某种东西抓扯在一起,形成了一种很特别的稳定,而突然间,这种抓扯一下没有了,而由此产生的稳定也就消失了。
The winter of 2004, I finished the last word of the novel --A Leopard in Iron in 201 dormitory of Lu Xu School of Arts. At that time, I had a strange feeling that I was dizzy and couldn’t walk steadily. The feeling was as if a person were twisted with something to form a special steadiness. Suddenly, there was not any connection between them and the steadiness disappeared.
我不得不承认,我跟这个东西的抓扯,前前后后加在一起,从构思提纲,到修改定稿,最后由人民文学出版社出版,足足有十七年光景。
I just have to admit that I had been twisted with the thing back and forth for 17 years on the novel from conception, formulation of outline, revisal to the publishing by People’s Literature Publishing House.
老实说,一个作家写什么内容的东西是一种命运,而写一部真正意义上的长篇小说,那简直就是一种因果决定,有着浓浓的宿命色彩。
To be frank, what a writer would write down is a destiny, while a genuine novel is really a decision of causality that with thick fate.
所以我对《困豹》最初的四十来万字有一种爱恨交加的感觉。
Therefore, I have a love-hate feeling in the first 400,000 words of the A Leopard in Iron.
我三十岁那年,一位只从事长篇小说创作的前辈作家对我说,一部长篇小说在一个作家的创作生涯中,应该具有里程碑的意义。我那时候只写中短篇小说,而且只对中短篇小说有浓厚的兴趣。
When I was thirty years old, an elder writer who only engages in writing novels told me that a novel should be a significant step in a writer’s writing career. However, I wrote nothing but novelettes at that time as I had strong interest in it only.
这位作家已经出版了好几部长篇小说,是很叫人羡慕的。而且,他可以同时写二三部长篇小说,一部写完,跟着也都写完了。一部长篇小说在他手中,就像一个短篇小说,顶多一部中篇小说在我手中一样。他把我想写一部长篇小说的欲望挑了起来。某种程度上说,我想到的并不是创作一部长篇小说的成就感,而是这样一个巨大的东西在我手中形成的那种滋味,我觉得这是极具诱惑力的。
The elder writer had already written several novels, which makes me admire. Furthermore, he could write two or three novels at the same time, and those novels were finished at the same time. Hence, a novel to him is like a short story, or a novella to me. Because of the elder writer, I had a desire to write a novel. To some extent, what attracts me is not the sense of achievement arising from the completion of a novel, but the creation of a great thing. I more enjoy experiencing a great thing formed because of me which is irresistible to me.
我那时候已经发表了不少中短篇小说,也出版了集子。按大师们说的,短篇小说是最难写的,因为短小,捉襟见肘,方方面面都要求完美。而长篇小说只要故事立得住脚,很多东西都可以马虎一点,那意思仿佛水深了,乱七八糟的东西都藏得住。我觉得一个作家如果一开始就写长篇小说,或许会是这样的情形。
At that time, I have published a certain number of novelettes and collections. According to those masters, the most difficult is to write short story as perfection is needed as it is short and strained. While what needed in novel is a reasonable story only as deep water can hide everything. As far as I am concerned, such a situation would be faced by a writer who starts from writing novel.
但如果这个作家是从写短篇小说或者中篇小说开始的,那么在接下来的长篇小说创作中,他就不可能不受已然形成的很多东西的影响,诸如语言风格、创作态度、艺术个性等的影响。一个作家的成长,实际上是一种模式的形成,不管这种模式成不成熟,面对一种新的体例,都是一种挑战。它意味着作为创作主体的很多东西将要解散并面临选择,而按照新的要求重新进行组合。However, if the writer starts his writing career from writing a short story or novella, he would be affected by formed habits like language style, writing-attitude and artistic personality unavoidably when he writes novel. The growth of a writer rightly is the formation of a pattern. Whether the pattern is mature or not, it would be a challenge in face of the new style which means that the creating subject has to dissolve and recombine many things in accordance with the new requirements in face of choice.
但我的问题显然不是短篇小说抑或中篇小说和长篇小说之间的问题。
Obviously, my problem does not lie in short story, or novella and novel.
我遇到的问题主要还是长篇小说自身的问题。
The problem I met is the novel itself.
不管当下人们怎么看一个作家的价值,但那时候,我觉得一个作家是应该有一种使命意识的。正是因为这样,我在我的创作活动中始终不知道“玩”文学的滋味;甚至在对材料的驾驭上,也不可能像一些聪明的作家那样扬长避短、驾轻就熟,可以一鼓作气地写出若干系列的东西来。No matter how people view the value of a writer, at that time, I believed a writer should have an awareness of his mission. For this brief, I have no idea of “playing” literature during the process of creating. What’s more, as for the controlling of materials, I cannot develop the strong points and avoid the weak points easily, and write a series of things at a dash like those smart writers.
文学作品应该是人类精神、人类情绪的产物,而一个作家,则理所当然地要对人类精神人类情绪进行开掘和发现,并根据时代前进方向提炼和升华。所以,我对历史文化与民间文学发生浓厚兴趣的同时,我不可能逃离当代生活这个大背景,这不是用一个作家的勇敢或者胆怯就可以概括的。
A literature should be the product of human spirit and emotions, and a writer should be the person to excavate and discover human spirit and emotions, and to refine and sublimate them according to the development of the times. Hence, the modern life is unavoidable when I felt strong interest in historical culture and folk literature,and this could not be generalized by the writer’s bravery or timidity.
事实上,一个负责任的作家,他不可能摆脱他置身的时代去表现那些子虚乌有的东西,也不可能沉溺个人感受整日里哼哼唧唧渲染那一点小情小调,更不可能去把前人咀嚼过很多遍的东西捡起来去作无聊的演绎。面对一个消费主义时代,文学被动地成了一种玩偶,一种消遣之物,这是一个国家的悲剧,一个民族的悲剧。
Actually, a responsible writer would not get rid of the times he is in to create something that does not exist, or indulge in personal feelings to groan and moan to those simplified emotions, or deduce those things which have been studied by the predecessors for many times foolishly. In the era of consumerism, literature has become a passive doll and a pastime which is a tragedy to a country and a nation.
时间已经是世纪末,而且是千年之尾,又一个新千年新世纪即将到来。想到这一点,我有一种莫名的豪气。一九八七年盛夏,我顶着烈日,历时一个多月,徒步三百多公里,全程考察芙蓉江。Time has been the end of the century and the end of the Millennium, while another new millennium is coming. I have a sense of pride as it comes to this. Midsummer in 1987, I exposed to the scorching sun and walked more than 300 kilometers for one month to investigate Furong River.
芙蓉江发源于大娄山脉,穿越黔北五县,最后经重庆市的武隆、彭水两县注入乌江。
Furong River originates from Daloushan Vein, gets cross five counties in northern Guizhou. Finally, it injects into Wujiang through Wulong and Pengshui county of Chongqing.
芙蓉江流域是中国少数民族仡佬族的主要聚居地,被学界认为是仡佬族的大本营。正是这一次对母亲河深入细致的考察,我获得了创作长篇小说《困豹》最初的灵感。
Furong river basin is an important settlement of Chinese minority Gelao that is thought as the base camp of Gelao nationality by educational circles. The careful investigation of the mother river inspired me to write my novel.
我决定用我所有的智慧和精力,把这部长篇小说写成一个复调的东西,给人一种多声部的感觉,使之既有一种历史的含蕴,又有一种空间的光照,它是诗化的哲学,又是民族民间的歌唱,苦痛而又充满希望,迷茫而又一往无前。
I decided to write this novel into polyphony with all my intelligence and energy to give people a feel of countless voices so that the novel is endowed with the history and time. It is not only a poetic philosophy but also a folk song; it is not only misery and confused but also hopeful and courageous.
我在故事的基本框架出来之后,给小说取了一个名叫《戴镣铐的豹》。有朋友知道我在写长篇小说,便问什么题材的,这让我很费思量。想了好久,我才字斟句酌地告诉人家:这是一个开放式的农村题材。
I named the novel as A Leopard in Iron as the basic framework is formulated. I was confused when my friend asked me the theme of the novel as they know I was writing. I told them carefully that it is an open theme of rural after careful considerations.
我没有想到我为自己设计了一个陷阱,并自己跳了进去。
I had never thought I designed a trap for myself and jumped in it.
众所周知,结构一部小说主要依靠形象思维,而形象思维主要来源于一个人的经验,直接或间接的经验。二十世纪八十年代末,以家庭联产承包责任制开头的农村经济体制改革取得了令人瞩目的成就,改革的重点正向城市经济体制转移。
As is known to all, the organization of a novel relies on thinking in image which originates in a person’s direct or indirect experience. In the end of the 1980s, the rural economic system reform which began with the household contract responsibility system made a remarkable achievement. The focus of the reform was shifting to the urban economic system.
旧的矛盾迁延不绝,新的矛盾错综复杂,我们处在一个激荡而又孕育着希望的时代。我和我的创作遭遇的是一种全新的东西。我的经验,甚至相当一部分知识,下失灵了。
We lived in an era filled with agitation and hope when the old contradictions were endless and the contemporary contradictions were complicated. During that time, what my creation and I met with was a brand new thing. My experiences as well as a certain part of my knowledge failed to work in a sudden.
它们是那么苍白,又那么陈旧。我感到了一种迷茫,一种无所适从,不知道写什么,也不知道怎么写。我那时候后悔这第一部长篇小说不应该选择当代生活为内容。
They became so pallid and old to me to make me feel perplexed and trampled. Hence, I did not know how to continue the story of the novel. Therefore, I really regretted why I chose to write modern life into a novel.
如果用一句土话来形容,那就是“刚学剃头就遇着络腮胡”。但我没有怀疑我的构思,我没有想到屈服。这让我处于一种欲罢不能欲写不成的尴尬境地。
A local dialect could describe the condition of my writing at that time that is “an apprentice is asked to save whiskers when he just learns shaved hair.” However, I never thought to give up as I believed in my conception and not give in which made me into a dilemma situation.
一九八九年下半年,我在写出了五章后,无奈地停了下来。
I just have to stop writing after finishing five chapters in the second half of 1989.
我明确地知道自己在一种等待中,等待一种新的累积,等待生活的发生和补给,等待新的过滤、新的感受。
I knew clearly that I was waiting a new accumulation, the supply of life as well as new filtration and feelings.
一九九〇年八月,我从正安县文联调到遵义地区文联。文联没有专业作家编制。我的工作是编辑《遵义文艺》。新到一个单位,实在不好意思提什么要求,只有老老实实按照八小时工作时间上下班。
In August of 1990, I was moved from the Federation of Zheng’an Country to Zunyi. The Federation of Zunyi did not have professional writers, and I was responsible for editing Zunyi literature and Art. I was a new there, so I worked for eight hours a day honestly as I was sorry to put forward requirement.
那时候没有电脑,来稿都是作者手稿,好一点的,写在正规的稿纸上,而差一点的,则有写在打字纸上的。作者付出了艰辛的劳动,编辑必须认真对待。虽然不是每稿必复,但每一篇稿子都要保存好,有一点基础的稿子还要给作者写信。
At that time, all contributions were handwritten by authors as there was no computer. Those good manuscripts were written on formal paper, while those bad ones were wrote on typing paper. Editor shall take these manuscripts seriously as hard work has been put into by those authors. Even not all manuscripts have to be reviewed, we still have to them well, and we had to write letters to those authors who wrote the article well.
白天看稿子看得头昏脑涨,夜晚回到家里,我看见稿子就有一种生理反应,总想离写字台远一点。
The reviewing of too many manuscripts during the day makes me feel dizzy, so that a physiological reaction would arouse as I see the manuscript, so I always wanted to keep away from the desk as I came back home. Under such a situation, it is really hard to catch the feeling of writing a novel.
这种情况下,除了偶尔写一写中、短篇小说,要想找到写长篇小说的感觉,实在很难。但一部长篇小说摆在那里,虚虚幻幻的,人还是感到一种莫名的亏欠。所以工作尽管做了不少,而作品也还是在不断地发表,但我心里总也还是有一种空荡荡的感觉。
Therefore, only novella and short stories could be written down occasionally. In addition, an unfinished novel on the desk would make you feel illusory and inexplicable indebtedness. Hence, even I have done many works and published many writings continuously, I still felt empty all the time.
一九九三年,我在时任中共贵州省委副书记兼组织部长的龙志毅同志关心下,到湄潭县挂副县长职务深入生活。
In 1993, concerned by Long Zhiyi who was a deputy secretary of the CPC Guizhou Provincial Committee and Minister of organization, I went to Meitan to experience life as deputy county magistrate.
志毅是作家,一次偶然的交谈中,他知道了我的困惑,觉得我到地区早了一点。湄潭县是全国农村改革试点县,某种程度上说代表未来农村发展方向。志毅书记要我到这样一个县挂职,也是颇有深意的。
Zhiyi was a writer, he knew my confusion during an accidental conversation between us, and thought I was been to Zunyi too early. Meitan County is one of the national rural reform pilot counties which represent the development direction of rural in the future to a certain extent. In my opinion, Zhiyi has his own idea to send me to such a county to work.
县长分工,私下里征求意见,要我管城建。我却想也没有想,就要求分管乡镇企业。要看农村的变化,要了解农业的转型和农民的想法,乡镇企业是一座重要的桥梁。我心里非常清楚,我那停滞不前的长篇小说又有了生长的机会。
The county magistrate asked my opinion when he assigned me to be responsible for city building. I asked to manage rural enterprises without any reflections as it is an important bridge to make me know the transformation of farming as well as the thoughts of farmer. I know very well that the moribund novel can continue again.
湄潭挂职四年光景,随着文学的边缘化,有一些好心的领导找我谈话,希望我不要回文联,正儿八经从政算了。那时候,我真动了心。我也知道自己的弱点,不能够同时做两样事情。如果就这样离开文学,实在太狼狈了。
Four years have been pasting since I worked in Meitan. With the marginalization of the literature, some kind leaders asked me to engage in politics rather than back to the federation of literary and art. To be honest, I was attracted by the suggestion at that time, but I knew that I could not do two things at a time. It is so embarrassed if I gave up literature like this.
白我不完成这部长篇小说,要做别的任何事情都是不可能的。因为一种牵挂,我又回到了文联。能不能写完这部长篇小说,不仅是对我能力的挑战,甚至还是对我人格的检验。
And it was impossible for me to do another thing as the novel has not been finished. Therefore, I returned to federation. It was not only a challenge for me but also a test for my personality to finish this novel.
一个作家是以读者及这个社会和时代为对象的,他在构思他的作品的时候,他实际上就跟他的读者及这个社会和时代冥冥中有一种许诺。我跟我的长篇小说较上了劲。我只有把它写完,才能够真正得到一种解脱。我觉得写完这部长篇小说,成了我这一生中最重要的事情。
A writer takes readers, society and era as the object when he designs his writing, actually a promise to the reader, society and era has been made. Only have I finished the novel that I can free from it, because I am serious with it. To finish this novel seems to be the most important thing in my life.
一九九七年,我得到贵州省作家协会支持,通过 “签约作家”方式,向原单位请了创作假,强迫自己回到了写字台前。为了方便修改,我学会了电脑操作,完成了从手写到键盘输入的换笔过程。
I was supported by Guizhou Writer Association in 1997, and I forced myself to the table by asking for a leave for creation from the former unit by "Contract Writing". In order to revise conveniently, I learned computer skills, and finished transforming from handwriting to keyboarding.
我把十来万字的手稿录入电脑,理两遍,顺了顺由于写作时间跨度大而产生的语言上的差异。也许新的输写工具带来了某种激情,我很快找到感觉,又接着写了下去。我相信只要一个字一个字地往上垒,总有一天,这个东西是有尽头的。
I put more than 10 thousand words into the computer, and organized them two times to edit those differences in language due to large writing span. I was activated by the passion brought by the new writing tool, and found the feeling to continue my writing. I believed I can finish this novel one day as long as I kept writing.
这一段时间,因为翻来覆去地对手稿进行折腾,我被自己写下来的那些文字感动着,甚至怀疑那不是自己写的。这种奇怪的发现,不仅给我增强了写完这部小说的信心,还使我有了写好它的决心。
In the period of time, I read and revised those manuscripts again and again that and I was moved by the words, and did not believe I had written them. This strange feeling strengthens my confidence to finish the novel and enhance my decision to write the novel.
当然,好的东西一定要认真琢磨。对一个作家来说,浮躁地处理一个好的材料,实际上也是一种可怕的浪费。现在,我把写作当成了一种生活,一种从容而又自在的生活。直到这时候,我才想到要写一个自己“里程碑”似的东西。
It is no doubt that a good working needs careful reflections. Rough dealing of a good material is a horrible waste to writer. Now, I treat writing as a kind of life which is calm and comfortable. It is until now that I come up with the idea to write something like “milestone”. I became relaxed with such an attitude.
有了这样一种心态,我放松了许多。但平日里,我专门为这部小说准备了一个本子,只要有一点感觉,或者发现可以写进这部小说的细节,我都往上记,始终保持一种敏悟。同时，想写一写短篇了，又能够从长篇写作中脱出来，一种思维，换一种表述，以此保持一种激情，
Therefore, I prepared a notebook for the novel, on which I took down what I felt or details of the novel, so that I could be sensitive all the time. Meanwhile, when I want to write short story, I can get rid of the novel and changed the way of expression to keep an enthusiastic.
甚至一篇宣传性的散文，我都会认真对待，以此把握生活，跟上时代。我这么散散漫漫的，居然还弄了一本集子出来。
Moreover, I would take very passage even a tendentious essay seriously to keep up with the pace of life and times. In this way, even an undisciplined person like me has created a collection.
二〇〇二年,这部困扰我多年的小说几乎就剩下一个结尾了。但我又一次陷入了迷惘。我不知道两位年轻的主人公何去何从,应该怎样选择他们的命运。而这时候,我的创作假到期了,单位通知上班。
In 2002, the novel which has confused me for several years needs an ending only. But I fell into confusion again that I did not know how to arrange the destiny of the two protagonists. And the unit has begun to inform me to work because my leave for creation has ran out.
我不好意思再以写长篇小说这个理由续假,而且也没有必要。我觉得我可以像从前一样等待。十三年过去了,再过去几年又有什么关系。我打定主意此生不再写这种“大长篇”了,反正就这么一个东西,不管多少烦恼和艰辛,也快要到尽头了。
I felt shy to extend my leave for creation of novel, and it is not necessary. Thirteen years have passed, so I can still wait a few more years as ever. Moreover, I have made up my mind not to write such a long novel like this again. Hence, I just need to finish this novel only. It is to be completed no matter how upset and hardship it was.
一个好的结尾,对一部长篇小说意味着什么,我不想多说。总之,我没有想清楚前,我会一直等待下去,哪怕半途而废。
I am not going to talk about the importance of a good ending is an important part to a novel, so I do not introduce more with it. In a word, I will wait until I really figured it out.
果戈理把他写完的小说都烧掉了。我没有那样的境界,也做不到,何况我可以通过等待来解决我的问题。我对此充满信心。
Gogol burned all novels he completed, however, I could not do that as I do not have that realm. I would prefer through waiting to solve my problems through waiting. And I am confident in this.
二〇〇四年的秋天,我有了一个到鲁迅文学院脱产学习半年的机会。一个星期听三个半天的讲座,剩下的时间都是自己的。
In the autumn of 2004, I had a chance to Lu Xu School of Arts to receive the full-time study for half a year. Here I only needed to attend lectures for three half days a week, and the rest time could be managed by myself.
这时候,我翻开那记着长篇创作材料的本子,一下看见那首《爱与恨》的歌谣,眼前豁然一亮，找到了小说的结尾。这歌谣是一位美籍华人到遵义寻根时念给我听的。
One day, when I opened the notebook and saw the ballad—love and hate, I knew how to write the end of the novel in a sudden. I knew the ballad from a Chinese-American who came to China to look for ancestors.
我觉得有一点意思,就顺便记在了本子上。没想到“久等必有禅机现”,这歌谣还真派上了用场。
By the way, I wrote it on the notebook for it is interesting at that time. I never expected that chance would be brought by long waiting, and the ballad worked.
北京的冬天到来,下第一场雪的时候,我把这部四十来万字的稿子打印完毕,装订整齐,作为作业,恭恭敬敬地交到了指导老师李建军先生手上。
As the first snow came in Beijing, I completed the printing and bounding of the manuscript with 400,000 thousand words, and handed it to Mr. Li Jianjun, my tutor.
在“狼系列”图书充斥市场的今天,作为人民文学出版社的编辑,李建军先生还能够看中《戴镣铐的豹》,我感到一种幸运。
I felt lucky that the editor of People's Literature Publishing House – Mr. Li Jianjun could acknowledge A Leopard in Iron in the era when the book of "Wolf Series" was popular.
现在,我把这个过程写在这里,如果一定要说有什么经验或教训,那么应该更多的是一种教训。而即便如此,它在我眼中,也仿佛与文学创作并没有太大的关系,终不过一种特殊的人生体验而已。
I wrote down the whole process of writing here, and I defined it as a lesson, actually, it has no directly relation with literary creation, but a special life experience.
