《莽原》2012年第1期
什么是你的
（人书）
冉正万
第一章
MangYuanZaZhi Vol.1 2012
What is yours
(人书)
Ran Zhengwan
Chapter 1
我刚跑到后台，电话响了。没有料到是二叔打来的。他用粗砺而突兀的乡下口音问：你是曹立不是？我说是呀。他没听清，又问了一遍。还在电话里喘气，像从很远的地方跑来打这个电话，累得说不出话来。我说二叔你怎么了？他说：“我今天到镇上去了一趟，差点晕倒在街上了，曹立，明天你无论如何回来一趟。”我问他：“出什么事了？二叔。”我心想不是他的房子被火烧了就是二娘死了或者跟什么人跑了。二叔说：“电话里说不清楚，你回来就知道了。”“到底什么事你让我有个准备呀。”“不用准备，回来就行了。”“房子没失火吧？”“没有，好好的。”“二娘……没生病吧？”“生什么病，她好好的！你不要问了，回来吧，回来了我再告诉你。”“二叔，最近我太忙了，我们马上要到凯里去演出……”“曹立，我要是有办法也没打算麻烦你，我是走投无路了才给你打这个电话的。这件事不光是为了我，也是为了你，你要是觉得二叔没有白疼你，你就回来吧！”二叔撂下了电话。
I just ran backstage, and the phone rang. I didn't expect that it was my second uncle. "Are you Cao Li?" he asked in a rough and abrupt country accent. I said yes.He didn't hear clearly and asked again. He was Still breathing in the phone, as if he has come from all the way to make this call, too tired to speak. I said what has happened to you? "I went to town today," he said. "I almost fainted in the street. You should come back tomorrow. No excuses. Cao Li.” I asked him again, "what happened? Uncle." I think it’s either his house was burned down or his wife died or ran away with someone. He answered: "I can’t explain it to you on the phone; you will know it as soon as you come back." "What on earth happened? I want to get prepared. "You don't need to prepare anything, just come back." "Is the house on fire? "No, the house is fine. "How about the aunt? Is she ill?” “Nonsense. She’s fine. Stop this nonsense. Come back; I'll tell you when you come back. " "Uncle, I've been really busy lately, we're going to perform in Kaili." Cao Li, if I know what to do, I won’t bother you. This matter is not only for me but also for you if you feel that I treated you well when you were a kid, then come back!” Uncle hung up.
二叔没有养过我，但他是我名义上的养父。我三岁的时候，二叔已经三十出头了，还没生出儿子，按照我妈的说法，我二娘连个麻雀蛋都没生出来。好像女人除了生孩子，还能生麻雀蛋。三亲六戚几经商量，决定把我过继给二叔当儿子。可二叔“不知好歹”，坚决不答应，还说这是我父母变着法儿想他的财产。其实是他没死心，希望自力更生艰苦奋斗排除万难自己生一个出来。到我上十二岁的时候，四十出头的二叔开始面对现实，承认自己不可能有儿子。但这时要我改口叫他爸爸已经不可能了，即便我有那么厚的脸皮我父母也不想答应，以前那话伤了他们的自尊，尤其是母亲，有谁提这事她就阴阳怪气地说：“人家万贯家财，我们哪敢去碰啊。”在我放学的路上，二叔出奇不意地拦住我，打劫一般，非要塞给我几块钱，叫我去买笔买本子买棒棒冰。我半真半假地推辞，二叔蹲在我面前，“乖，拿去，不要让你妈知道就行了。”二娘则塞给我一些在乡下不用花钱的东西，一个桃子，几颗板粟，或者一把还没晒干的花生。
My uncle did not raise me, but he was my nominal foster father. When I was three years old, my second uncle was in his early thirties and had not yet given birth to a son. According to my mother, my second mother had not even given birth to a sparrow egg. It is as if a woman can give birth to sparrow eggs as well as children. After much consultation, our relatives decided to pass me on to my second uncle as his son. But my second uncle "cannot tell good from bad" and firmly refused. He said that my parents were trying to get hold of his property. In fact, he still hoped to be self-reliant and to struggle to eliminate all difficulties to have his own child. By the time I was 12, my second uncle was in his early 40s had begun to face the reality that he couldn't have a son. But it was impossible for me to call him father, and even though I had such a thick face, my parents did not want to say yes. My second uncle's earlier remarks hurt their feelings. My mother responded whenever someone brought this topic up: "His fortune is his fortune, we won't touch it" On my way home from school, to my surprise, my second uncle appeared suddenly and stopped me as if he were to rob me. He tucked me a few yuan and told me to buy a pen and book and a popsicle for myself. I was happy to receive the money, yet I still refused several times before taking it, pretending to be shy. He squatted in front of me, "dear, take it, don't let your mother know." His wife gave me things which people don't have to pay for in the countryside, a peach, some chestnut, or a handful of undried peanuts.
我父母知道这些后，骂我没志气。可他们并没有坚决制止，只要不有意在他们面前炫耀，他们就当什么也不知道。随着时间的推移，我一天天长大了，因为一些鸡毛蒜皮的事情，我父母和二叔二娘仍会互相指责甚至谩骂，唯独对我在两个家庭中的关系，却采取了一种默许或者认同。我被马戏团选中即将离开老家时，二叔拿出的钱比我父亲多得多，我父亲以一种劣质的感动和真诚叫我改口喊二叔做二爸，二叔大概希望的不是二爸而是爸爸，可他嘴上却说，“喊什么都一样，喊什么都一样。”有时候想起这些事，觉得真是滑稽。成了马戏团的演员以后，二叔对我的关照越来越多了。这和经济实力有关。二叔一个孩子也没有，我父母却一口气生了十个，虽然只养大了一半，可这已经够磨人的了。我弟弟结婚，父亲东拼西凑才给了他三千块钱。我买房，二叔一口气就给我三万。而且拿钱出来时的口气截然不同。父亲对弟弟说，老三，不要嫌少，从你生下来算起，到现在为止我付出的已经不少了。钱，这是最后一次给了，结了婚你就成人了，今后不是我给你，而是应该你给我了；几兄妹都一样，我给你们分了任务的，不管你们高不高兴，到我老得干不动活的时候，你们不给我，我就自己爬上门来要！弟弟愤愤不平地打电话给我，说父亲简直像个流氓无产者，更让他生气的是，他还故意当着他的新婚妻子说这些话，太不给他面子了。我和弟弟在不同的马戏团工作，虽然我们很买力，可收入并不高。顺便说一句，在半边坡，人人都希望自己的孩子瘦小单薄，因为越单薄越容易被马戏团看中，我和弟弟正是这样的幸运儿。我买房没对二叔说，是他知道后自己把钱送来的。他说：“曹立，别人家咋个整你就咋整，不要舍不得钱，钱不够我再想办法。城里面的房子哪能和乡下一样，不搞漂亮点不行。家里还有几千斤油菜籽，几麻袋干辣椒，还有你二娘养的一窝猪仔，不行我把它们全部挑出去卖掉。”都说金钱不能代替亲情，可我和二叔真的是越来越亲了。
When my parents knew this, they accused me of having no sense of disgrace. But they didn't stop me, and they pretend to know nothing unless I showed it off in front of them. As time went on, I grew older and older. Due to some trivial things, my parents and my second uncle and mother would still accuse and abuse each other. But all of them adopted an act of acquiescence or approval towards my relationship between the two families. When I was selected by the circus and was leaving my hometown, my second uncle gave me much more money than my father did. My father was touched by it. Out of his shallow sense of good and bad, told me to call my second uncle, "my second father." I can tell that my uncle wanted to hear me calling him father instead of second father, but he said it's the same. Sometimes it's funny to think of these things. After becoming a circus performer, I received more and more money as well as care from my second uncle. It has to do with his financial status. My second uncle had no child while my parents gave birth to ten children in a row. My brother was getting married, and my father scraped together three thousand yuan. When I wanted to buy a house, my second uncle gave me thirty thousand yuan at a time. And the money came in very different tones. My father said to my younger brother; You shouldn't think it's too little since you were born, so far I have spent a lot on you. This is the last time I give you money. You are officially an adult after you are married. In the future, it's your turn to give money to me; All of your brothers and sisters are the same, I give you tasks. I don't care about whether you are willing or not, when I am too old to work, if you don't give me money, I will knock on your doors to ask for it! My brother called me angrily and told me that my father looked like a rascal and proletarian, and to add insult to injury; he said these things in front of my brother's wife. My brother and I work in different circuses, and although we are very industrious, our income is not high. By the way, in Halfslope, everyone wants their children to be small and thin, because the thinner they are, the more likely they are to be chosen by the circus. My brother and I are the lucky ones. I didn't tell my second uncle when I bought the house. "Cao Li," he said, "I will do what others will do to you. The houses in the city can't be as beautiful as those in the country. There are also a few thousand pounds of rapeseed, a few sacks of dried chili peppers, and a litter of pigs owned by your second wife.They say money can't replace affection, but my second uncle and I are getting closer and closer.
我哪能让二叔白疼我，我立即打电话回去问到底什么事。王三笋开了个杂货店，离二叔家仅两分钟的路程。电话是王三笋接的，二叔已经走了。王三笋夸张地说，你二叔捡到金娃娃了。王三笋的语气让我非常反感，与二叔家离得近，平时难免有些小摩擦，可你王三笋办商店的钱不是借了我几千还没还吗。我忍住性子问，到底什么事，我二叔那么急。王三笋说，真的，你二叔真的捡到个娃娃，也许比金娃娃还值钱。“他是不是想收养一个孩子？”“不是孩子，是他在地里捡到的一个娃娃，好多人都看见了，但我没看见，我那天进货去了。听说贵重得很，你回来就知道了。”
How can I make my second uncle hurt me for nothing? I immediately called back to ask what happened. Wang opened a grocery store just two minutes from his uncle's home. Wang answered the phone. Uncle wang has left."Your second uncle found the golden doll," said wang. The tone of wang's voice makes me very disgusted. He is close to his second uncle's house.I resisted the temptation to ask what the hell was going on, my uncle and I was in such a hurry. "It's true," said wang. "your second uncle did find a doll. "Does he want to adopt a child? "It's not a child. It's a doll he picked up in the field. You'll know it when you come back.
我怀着一半不满和一半好奇回到半边坡——我不是埋怨他们不顾我演出繁忙，而是对他们大惊小怪感到吃不消，有什么事情复杂得在电话里说不清？非要回来不可？
I went back halfway down the slope with half dissatisfaction and half curiosity -- not to blame them for ignoring my busy performance, but to make a fuss about them.Must I come back?
半边坡是个盛产奇迹的地方，幸好由于偏远使得世人知之甚少，否则它会被外来者的皮鞋踢踏得尘土飞扬。我是骑马回来的。汽车开到镇上后，要么骑马，要么坐船。进半边坡的水路逆水上行，骑马要快得多。骑到半边坡后把缰绳缠在马鞍上，马自己走回去。牵马的人说我二叔捡了个乌人，价值连城。我问他乌人是什么东西，乌黑的人？他说他也不知道，但别人都这么说。我暗想，二叔大概被谣言害苦了，要我回来给他辟谣。如果他真捡了个值钱的宝贝，哪里会尽人皆知。
Halfslope is a land of miracles, but fortunately, the remoteness makes the world know little. Otherwise, it will be kicked into dust by the shoes of outsiders.I came back on horseback. When the car arrives in town, it either rides a horse or takes a boat. It is much faster to ride a half-slope waterway up against the water.Halfway up the slope, he tied the REINS to the saddle, and the horse went back on its own.The man who led the horse said that my uncle had picked up a man worth a million dollars. I asked him what a black man was, a black man? He said he didn't know, but everyone else said so. I thought to myself that my second uncle was probably suffering from rumors and asked me to come back and deny them to him. If he does find a valuable treasure, everyone will know where it is.
走进半边坡的时候，有个在菜园里割青菜的姑娘远远地看着我，我从她的面前经过，走了很远，她还那么看着我。她只转了半个身体，而我却足足走了半个小时。姑娘垂至脚弯的镰刀睡着了一般，瑟瑟发抖的青菜则度过了恐怖的30分钟。刚开始我还有些得意，以为是自己的英俊使她忘记了割青菜。当我回过头看不见她时却又一下惊谎起来：她那么怜悯地看着我，是不是我家出了无法挽救的大事？我一下疲惫不堪，关节像生了锈的剪刀，连眼珠也快转不动了。
Halfway up the slope, a girl cutting vegetables from the garden looked at me from a distance.She turned only half round, but I walked for half an hour. The scythe, which hung down to her ankle, fell asleep, and the shivering green vegetables passed a frightful thirty minutes.At first, I was a little proud that my good looks had made her forget about cutting vegetables. When I turned around and couldn't see her, I lied again. She looked at me so sympathetically.I was so tired that my joints were like rusty scissors that I couldn't move my eyes.
好在猜测的云团很快被事实的光辉拂去。二叔好好的，二娘也好好的。我的父母也活得好好的，顺便问了一句，其他亲戚也好好的。只要人是好好的，那就没什么可怕了。
But the cloud of speculation was soon swept away by the glow of the facts — Uncle good, mother good. My parents are alive and well, and by the way, other relatives are fine. As long as people are good, there is nothing to fear.
二叔见到我并没有像见到救星那样激动。大概是因为有外人在场的缘故。在外人面前他得矜持一点。有炼樟树油的严登才，劁猪匠刘昌明，爆米花的马有德，石匠石有孝，还有泥瓦匠哈卫健。另外两个人除了用钩钩枪修地球以外什么手艺也不会，他们是关长生和钱贵周。
My uncle wasn't as excited to see me as he was to see a savior. Probably because someone else was there, he must be reserved in the presence of outsiders. There were Yan Dengcai, who refined camphor oil, Liu Changming, the castrate pig maker, Ma Youde, the popcorn maker, the stonemasons Ha Weijian. The other two men could do nothing but repair the earth with a hook gun. They were Guan Changsheng and Qian Guizhou.
他们坐在屋子里，不时摇晃一下身体，就像要把一个大箩卜从地里拔起来。乌江对岸村寨的人叫我们“摇晃晃”。他们看见半边坡人，总是以好奇和同情的口气说：唉，一个摇晃晃。据说自古以来，半边坡人就是这种身材，腿短手长，走起路来左右摇晃。因为每个人都一样，所以从没觉得有什么不便，更不会承认这是一种病。在我们看来，这种事如果发生在少数人身上，那就是病，可我们的祖宗八代父老乡亲全都一样，只要不出半边坡，看到的人全都一样，这就不能算是一种病了。有一年，来了一个所谓的人口学家，他说半边坡人患上的是地方性遗传侏儒，是一种不治之症。大家一致认为他是在毁坏半边坡人的名声，毫不客气地把他赶走了。
They sat in the house, shaking their bodies from time to time as if to pluck a big basket from the ground.Across the river, from the village, people called us "shaking."When they saw the half-bandits, they always said in a tone of curiosity and sympathy: ah, a shake.It is said that Halfslope people have been in this shape since ancient times, with short legs and long hands.Because everyone is the same, there is no inconvenience and no recognition that it is a disease.In our opinion, if this happens to a small number of people, it is a disease, but all the eight generations of our ancestors are the same, and it cannot be considered a disease unless they are halfway down the slope and all the people they see are the same.One year, a so-called demographer came along and said that the half-bandits had a local genetic dwarf, an incurable disease.It was agreed that he was destroying the reputation of the half-bandits and that he was unceremoniously driven away.
